Hoping and Praying

Daniel and I have been very busy these last few weeks, and so I haven't had much time to write. Since we have moved to Washington, we have been trying to get our adoption home study updated and transferred over.

It brings out such a mixture of emotions. When we first got married almost 4 years ago, we knew we wanted a big family, but after a few months, we realized that we might need a little help. After a few years of tests, treatments, and procedures, it really makes you wonder what the Lord has in store for you.

Every month, for 3 years, you build yourself up, hoping that this will be the month there are 2 lines on the stick instead of 1, only to have your heart fall apart in the end. And then, you have to pull yourself together fast, only to go through it all over again the next month. It has been very exhausting, and has added a lot of stress to our lives.

Last summer, we decided to stop all fertility treatments. I just couldn't bare going through the whirlpool of emotions anymore. So, we sat down, had a long talk, and decided on adoption. It has been a huge weight off our shoulders since we made that decision. The moment we decided, we knew it was the right choice for us. But, now that we are coming up on our 6 months of waiting, the emotions are coming back.

It's hard being surrounded by mothers who have no problem building their family, knowing that we can't. But everyday, we just hope and pray, that we will find that perfect person, who is able to help us build our family.

If anyone reading this, knows of a special someone who is considering adoption for their child, we would be thrilled if you could tell them about us.

"Adoption means, you grew in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy."